Is being yourself a development or degradation? Know Answer
written by yaroslav Couch

Is being yourself a development or degradation? An interesting question, I will try to answer it in as much detail as possible.

In everyday usage, the phrase “to be yourself” is to do what you want, to behave naturally, without tension, feeling comfort, well-being, and harmony inside. Mentally healthy people are not concerned with the topic of “being oneself”, this topic is more typical for those who are not confident in themselves, have problems with others, feel inner tension and discomfort.

"Be yourself, let yourself just be who you are!" - the traditional recommendation of psychotherapists. As a rule, this means: do not strain, behave, as usual, do what you want here and now!

We are not obliged to meet anyone's expectations, we have the right to be in the mood that came to us, to say and do what comes from our hearts.

Usually, such recommendations bring a person closer to his comfort zone, improve his condition, give him ease and liberation of his behavior. This is a useful exercise as a way to increase confidence and relieve stress, but you don't need to make it the norm and in fact, abuse it in the same way as young girls should not get carried away with cosmetics, and men should not be more careful with alcohol. What is good little by little and sometimes becomes a problem in constant use? Such advice is often given to constrained or insecure people, but to strong and development-oriented people this recommendation is inappropriate.

Let's begin with that people say, "Don't touch me, I want to be myself and I don't want to be told who I should be!" So being yourself is selfishness? Indeed, when they say so, I want to knock back. Just kidding.

Let's figure it out.

The fact is that people are different, and they use the same words. Accordingly, different people put their personal meanings into the same words. As a result, we speak the same language, but about different things.

So that's it. First, about different people.

People are divided into several categories. In different areas of psychology, these categories are called differently, I will not list.  There are four spaces in my picture of the world.

1. Labyrinth of suffering;

2. Space of joy;

3. An ocean of inspiration;

4. Valley of Wisdom.

For each space, the concept of "BE YOURSELF" is completely different. The names, by the way, are my own (it is possible that someone inspired me to these epithets, but in classical psychology, there are definitely no such names).

In the Labyrinth of Suffering, people struggle for survival, the dream of stability, are angry with those who are in chocolate, know who is a fool and who built bad roads. For them, "Be yourself" is "don't teach me how to live, better help me financially, I'm not going to meet your expectations." However, they still are adjusted by the world because to live somehow necessary, and to jump, they cannot because of its labyrinth because the world is for them an evil, dangerous, aggressive, with the bases and betrayal, so better to sit by quiet sadness in its place.

In the Space of joy, the concept of “Being yourself” means something else. Here it means being the best version of yourself, who once said to herself, "Get it together, rag!" "And went to win, to inspire, to philosophize on how to live, and to demonstrate it by example. In the Space of joy, “Being Yourself” means being proud of Yourself, doing work on mistakes in case of failure, and winning again.

In the Ocean of inspiration, the state of “Being yourself” changes the vector. If in the previous Space our Himself, whatever one may say, worked for the public, although he assured everyone that he performed all the feats for himself, then in the Ocean of inspiration he is really pleased with himself. Here, “Being Yourself” means being content with Yourself, whatever happens. But this is not narcissistic contentment, but such a self-sufficient, balanced, powerful, deep. This Himself knows something about Himself and about the world that gives him peace and tranquility, no matter what happens overboard. Yes, it is also shaken by a sea wave from time to time because the ocean is the same. But 'our' own refers to this as an Observer Contemplating. Yes, the balance here is the key. And integrity.

In the Valley of Wisdom, "Being yourself" turns into timelessness and boundlessness. And by Himself also becomes timelessness and boundlessness. Here it is no longer clear, where You are, and where Being. Everything is one here and everything is just there.

This is how I understand “Be yourself”. This is, so to speak, my concept. I no longer work with the Labyrinth of Suffering. We do not understand each other. We speak completely different languages. But I like to translate from the Space of Joy into the Ocean of inspiration! Here we are on the same wavelength. I know this path and, although it is not being fast, it is uplifting. 

To summarize briefly, for a person-personality, “be yourself” is a natural and correct state, which can be called DEVELOPMENT. And for other people accustomed to being guided only by feelings and not responsible for themselves, the principle of “being yourself” as a norm of life is rather problematic and unsuccessful, which is a path to DEGRADATION. We know how to be different, and this is normal and correct: for different tasks, we open different sides in ourselves, rely on our different strengths, and be what is needed here and now.







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