How can depression be a blessing? Know Answer
written by preeti Student

I think I am capable of answering this question as I have been into depression. This is just a story of mine that will definitely give justice to this sensitive question. Let us go almost 3 years back, at the beginning of my JEE preparation. I was in a well-known coaching institute after receiving a scholarship from my school as I scored excellent in my 10th grade. I was all prepared and started my journey will other lakhs.

I was the only privileged child from my house studying in a so-called prestigious coaching institute. I started noticing some great facts about such institutes. They don't teach, they do business. They keep an eye on the students who perform great from the beginning itself, it's like wiping the cream off from the cake. They keep shuffling classes and students used to literally fight to get into a better batch. It all felt so undesirably competitive. Days were passing and I was not performing well in weekly tests. It was all so weird and demotivating for me as I was seeing myself drop from an intelligent kid to an average student. A year passed, and all I did was assuring my parents and myself that I can do it. 

From preparing for IIT’s, now I was preparing for NIT. A few months later, I gave my first attempt and didn't prepare well. I assured my parents that I will do great in my next attempt which was after three months. But deep down, I realized that It was too late to do anything. Days passed and my board exams arrived. I was not prepared at all, not at all. I was preparing for the past couple of years for JEE exams and now I had the fear of literally doing my worst in the 12th boards. 

In December 2018, I felt helpless. I didn't know what to do. I used to cry a lot without anyone noticing me. I used to sleep a lot, I was failing. In some instances, I felt that along with me even my parents and people in my house lost hope in me. I felt devastated, I don't know how to put all those feelings into words. I tried consulting doctors online for help as I was too alone to go and consult someone physically. I was surrounded by many people, but I used to feel lonely a lot. I used to usually lie down, weeping, and trying to convince myself that I will get out of this trauma. I don't know what to call that feeling, I think that's what depression makes someone feels like.

I remember I didn't bathe for 6 days straight during my prelims of the 12th boards. I didn't have many friends as I was an introvert and it was really difficult for me to talk. I had only one friend and I was not that open with her as well about my feelings. I never shared anything in my home, not even my siblings. I thought no one would actually understand it. Months passed, I gave my board exams, MHCET exam, JEE exam, and an entrance exam for Manipal Institute. I was waiting for my exam results with lost hope in my eyes. It was more than six months since I felt alive. I write poems a lot and wrote a couple of poems back then just for relief. 

My results started getting declared. I was not able to clear for JEE advanced and my score was low enough to not get admitted to any NIT. I got 70% in the 12th grade and everyone was shocked to see this drop in my intelligence as I scored 90% in the 10th grade. To be honest, I was quite satisfied with this percentage as I knew how quickly I prepared for boards. I was shivering and waiting for my MHCET results as it was my last hope. My MHCET scores made me cry as well, It was not good enough to get into the college my siblings were studying. I felt like a complete loser. Everyone started blaming my low caliber and some said that my brain is weak and can't do anything that requires mindfulness and intelligence. Even my percentage of 10th grade got into the picture as people started saying that I was only good for small competitions and can only learn things thoroughly without using logic. Many such words still prick my heart till now. 

I got admission to a low-grade college. I don't feel great about it, but I know that a college can't define one's capability. Trust me, I am not saying this because I failed miserably to get into any prestigious colleges. That failure of my life still haunts me often, even after 2 years. People still remind me of how failed I am. I find it embarrassing to talk about my grades and often feel left out amongst my siblings when they talk about academics and their plans. They don't feel that I am capable of any masters. I don't discuss such things with them as I feel down about myself whenever I talk about it. I still cry thinking about it. I am reminded about the status of my scores and colleges quite often and It feels bad of course. I think I have forgiven myself and moved on with a better perspective of the future and hope that the scars of my failures go off soon. I want my loved ones to gain hope again for myself. 

I made mistakes, I learned a lot about myself and life in that phase.

I don't want to play the victim as I was never a one. I am still healing and doing better. I am doing my IT Engineering and I am trying my best that my past doesn’t affect my present and my future. I still feel alone many times, but I hope to get better and the best. I have gained an optimistic way to deal with problems and I have learned to accept failures and shortcomings with a grin. 

I live in the moment and have a better perspective on life.

My depression was a blessing, in form of failures that taught me a lot.



0 Answers Posted

No Answers to Display

Post Your Answer
Life Posts

Life Queries (click on the link to write).

Should it matter what other people think of you?
Why it is important to have a mentor in one’s life?
How to recover from a traumatic experience? Answered
How to survive in a city with no money? Answered
How do you build a financially stable life?
What is the power of words and thoughts?
Is life a lie or just half truth?
Is suicide the last resort?
Why should you stop being negative?
How to overcome anxiety? Answered
Why are we fond of sunsets? Answered
Should we hear the good news or the bad news first? Answered
How to deal with self doubt?
Why privacy and a little bit of secrecy is important in life? Answered
What is the role of other people in one's life?
What should be an ideal approach to deal with one’s past? Answered
What makes life peaceful?
Does the epitome of a mans being direct him in life?
How can we convert negative emotions into positive energy? Answered
Why is there a need to start hustling at a young age?
What are your ways on managing stress? Answered
What can you say about the phrase "Think Positive"?
How to live life without regrets?
How can we achieve Mindfulness? Answered
How do you sucessfully juggle motherhood and a career?
How childhood trauma affects adulthood?
Is it okay to be a caregiver to someone if it's taking a toll on you?
How to build self-confidence?
How can you fight laziness? Answered
How Emotional Quotient is important than Intelligence Quotient?
How does fear affect us?
Is there any need to take a risk?
Does time heal scars?
Is this world truth or just an illusion?
How gambling can ruin your life?
Why Money is not so important to live happily ever after?
Do you know the philosophy called 'Balance'?
Why 'perspective' is so important for one's life? Answered
What is more important in our life?
What is 'PASSION', an overused term or something that we really love to do? Answered
How to become more productive? Answered
Is salvation really free?
What are the simple things you can do everyday to achieve fulfillment?
Why people always search for comfort?
What is the purpose of life? Is everyone born with a specific purpose? Answered
Is it necessary to be adaptive in nature in order to survive in this universe?
How negative thoughts weak us? Answered
Are you a Chicken or an Eagle?
What are the seven ways to get out of difficult situations?
Is life a miracle?
Is giving up worth it? Answered
What is the relationship between money and peace?
Why you should not give up? Answered
Can life challenges play a role in decisions made in the future?
Do affirmations work?
Why is peace of mind important to feel happy?
How to create good habits?
How to achieve self-discipline? Answered
Is being yourself a development or degradation? Answered
How people change with the passage of time? Answered
What does it mean to WAIT on something?
How is philosophy an important discipline to go for in order to know 'life'?
How to plan your day? Answered
How to survive in struggles? Answered
What are the stereotype a girl faces in her life? Answered
Why you should plan your life? Answered
How to acknowledge the good in life?
How can one motivate themselves during periods of conflict? Answered
How your perception influence your life? Answered
Why should one learn to live alone?
What are some truth or facts about life?
What is the reason for the lack of unity among the peoples of the world? Answered
Why death exists? Answered
Is it true that there will be a person who will not leave us till the end?
Are adults less understanding of the young than young people are of them? Answered
Should we really live in today? Answered
Is it difficult to follow disciplined life?
Is life all about studies and career? Answered
What are the effects of cyberbullying on teen suicide?
Should there be a limit to helping people? Answered
Optimism brings the best of all. Do you think this statement is justified? Answered
How to deal with panic attacks? Answered
Is hope an important thing to have?
How to find happiness and inner peace in difficult times?
Why is it important to get alone time frequently?
What is the correct definition of maturity?
What is good in "ikigai"?
How does Emotions work on human life? Answered
How to take the right decision?
Why is it so important to rise early in the morning? Answered
What is important in life money or love? Answered
What are the effects of suppressing emotions?
Does punishment remould a criminal?
Why it is not easy to please everyone?
How can we cure the scenic panic?
How is life in a monastery?
What matters most in life?
What is the best way to learn, grow and constantly evolve?
Why most of the people these days are suffering from depression? Answered
How to rack up your sanguine life?
Why present should be given importance than past?
How to face tough people? Answered
Is changing to fit in, worth the pain and sacrifice? Answered
How to find mental peace and happiness? Answered
Why we should always think positive?
Why is it important to get rid of toxic people? Answered
What to say when people are crying?
How to be productive in life?
How to get rid of toxic people? Answered
Why do we choose to suffer? How to alleviate suffering? Answered
What's the hardest truth of life? Answered
Are we becoming predictable through social media? Answered
How to get what you desire? Answered
How can I become popular?
What are the 3 R's of self empowerment? Answered
Why is spirituality important for every human being on earth? Answered
How can you deal with isolation? Answered
After death what will happen?
Should doctors help patients to end their life?
Why is self-love important? Answered
Is it really important to have a hobby in life?
How can a smile change your life?
What is the life's biggest asset?
What are the top 10 things to do before turning 30?
How to find eternal peace from within? Answered
How does being optimistic help during a tough time?
What is more important in life money or love?
Is mother nature a self protector?
What are some life lessons?
Why should you focus on changing yourself and not the world?
What are our real fears?
Why do we die?
Between Biology and Physics, which one is more applied in life? Answered
Why do the people we love don't seem to care about us anymore?
How do I cope with anxiety and panic attacks?
Why we need to appreciate people more?
How to avoid irritating people?
Why do children become victims of depression?
What people you should never be with?
Why you should forget past? Answered
Why do we feel so empty?
What are the hardest truth of life? Answered
Is suicide the answer for depression?
What are some ways to win people's hearts?
Why is depression increasing in youngsters? Answered
Why only breathing is not sufficient in life?
How not to feel bad about past?
Why it is necessary to stay connected with spirituality?
What is life? Answered
How to prevent suicide?
What is the real cost of life and death?
Why suicide should never be an option?
Why being nasty is important?
How to enjoy pain?
How do I overcome inferiority complex?
How to deal with downfall in life? Answered
What are the 3 circles that surround us?
How to withstand and learn from the obstacles in life? Answered
How can I be more adaptive to changes?
How does practicing meditation on a daily basis change people's life? Answered
How early rising plays a positive role in life?
How self actualization works in our life?
How do we keep hope in a seemingly hopeless world?
How to deal with criticism in life?
Can our fantasy world be harmful to us?
How to know "When To Tolerate And When To Face" for a particular situation in life?
How effective is emotion in an argument? Answered
Are you afraid of your failures?
How sketching can bring a positive change in your life?
Time is precious but memories are priceless. How?
How can we conclude nature is the best teacher?
What three habits will improve your life?
Is happiness a matter of choice?
How good deeds are remembered for long?
How to help yourself to get rid of depression? Answered
How negative thinking affects our health?
Suicide: a sign of bravery or cowardice?
Why care about karma and reincarnation?
Why people do not accept their mistakes?
What to do when you find yourself lost ?
How to deal with the issue of overthinking? Answered
Can limiting beliefs be undone?
Is it that nobody cares or there's just too much to deal with?
Does karma really happen? Answered
What is the essence of life?
How can we be thankful in all circumstances?
Happy life is a myth. True or False? Answered
Is life a race? Answered
Does our color, shape and size describe our true selves? Why are we being a victim of body shaming? Answered